So Cold
by cloudstrachey
Summary: AxelxRoxas, other pairings.Roxas lives with what's left of his family, and yet is still so alone. His uncle abuses him in every way. Will the redhead come to his rescue, or is Roxas too far gone? Rated M for abuse,rape,alcohol abuse, etc. High school.Yaoi
1. Shadows

Why hello there, ye who currently reads this note. I've had this idea in my head for a long time. I'm finally trying to get off my butt and inflict it upon the eagerly awaiting world.

This story will be mostly an Axel/Roxas pairing, but I will be incorporating other couples in as well. Especially since Axel and Roxas won't be getting together for at **LEAST** three chapters, and it will be much longer before they actually "get together" *wink wink, nudge nudge* So to satiate your lusts and desires, I'll add some other pairings – let me know if you want to see anyone in particular. I've got the Axel/Roxas story all planned out, but I don't really have anything in mind yet for the others. I do want the experienced and wise Leon/Cloud couple; I always love them. And I do love Zexion, and would like to put him with someone other than the usual Demyx (perhaps Riku – I have an irrational hatred of Sora). However….after reading so many stories with them together, I can't shake the feeling that Zexion would be cheating if he were with anyone else. *sigh* How silly of me. Oh well, I'll figure it out.

As for this chapter, it's not very long. This is to get you started while I'm finishing up my school, and then I can dedicate myself to long angsty-yet-fluff-ridden chapters.

There will be some OOC scripting and backgrounds, because while I-

-Disclaimer: don't own these luscious characters –

- I DO just so happen to own my own personal versions of them.

So there you have it; you've made it this far, so don't give up now. Enjoy this preview of what's to come!

_____________________________________________________________________________________

He pulled his thin sheet close to his chin, futilely trying to wring some warmth out of the pitiful fabric. His eyes tried their best to close, heavy with the exhaustion that came from belonging to this boy, but he forced them to stay open and watch for any shadows through the crack under his door. He strained his ears listening for any footsteps outside his room that had no business being up in the middle of the night. Shaking from cold and fear, he gave up on the worthless sheet and he lifted his knees to his chest, wrapping his arms around them and trying his best to convince himself that he would be left alone tonight.

Just as his eyes had fought themselves closed, the door to his room opened with a single, familiar creak. He always hated that door. It did nothing for him but allow this evil to come in, night after night. His ears picked up on the ragged, drunken breaths that were now closing in on him. He gripped his legs tighter, trying to will his heart to stop beating. He whimpered as a weight fell on the bed behind him. The useless sheet was pulled slowly off his body and replaced by heavy, unwelcome warmth. His missed the chill of his sheet.

Strong hands unwrapped his arms from his legs and flipped him onto his front, knees still to his chest. His pants were pulled down just enough to expose his backside, and he heard the same rustling of clothes from the man behind him as well. His breath stopped in fearful anticipation. Suddenly he gasped as pain shot through his body from the rough impalement. The man was setting a quick pace, already hard before he had even walked through the door. Gripping the small hips in front of him, the man grunted with the effort of his thrusts. Sobbing silently, the boy clenched his teeth and waited for everything to end. It wouldn't be long; nights like this weren't usually about how much pain the man could cause him. Instead they were about a quick and easy way to satiate the lust he always felt, the pain this inflicted being merely a bonus.

The man found his release not a minute later, and promptly freed himself of the shivering boy. He clumsily climbed out of the small bed, the liquor greatly impeding his ability to move as he normally would.

Once he heard the man shut the door to his own room, the boy finally swallowed everything that had built up in his mouth from the crying and allowed a particularly large shudder to wrack his pained body. He pulled his pants back up until they were once again teasing him with their false sense of privacy and security. He then rolled back onto his side, wrapping his arms back around his knees and facing the treacherous door. This time, the boy let his eyes close without a fight, knowing that there would be no more shadows for them to watch for. He would be left alone. At least until the morning.

_____________________________________________________________________________________

Yay! There you have it; a look into the pained life of our poor little boy. Let's hope things improve for him soon.

Please review; this is my first story, and I'm setting high expectations for myself. I'm going to be shooting for a myriad of emotions in here, and trying to convey them all to you in a way that makes you really feel them…basically what every writer is trying to do. It will make me very happy if my efforts are rewarded with proof of your enjoyment! And if you have some criticisms, I welcome those too; anything to make this easier on you guys.

Alright thank you for reading. I shall be trying to get the next chapter up in the next week or two; we'll see how it goes. Bye!


	2. Staring

Alright here's the next chapter; y'all better appreciate this, because I should have been studying for my final, but noooo…

As the story progresses, you'll be witness to some flashbacks (***) that tell in detail some of the torture that our poor boy has been faced with. For now though, all that you need to know going into this chapter is that the physical, sexual, and verbal abuse has been happening for years upon years.

Disclaimer: I have not gained possession of anything related to Kingdom Hearts since the previous chapter.

____

_*beeeeep beeeeep beeeeep*_

_*beepbeepbeepbeep*_

A hand shot out from under the covers and slammed into the clock nearest it before knocking it to the floor.

_*beepbeepbeepbeep*_

A menacing growl emanated through the covers before they were flung angrily to the foot of the bed, revealing bright messy red hair and a toned, lithe body covered in nothing but some tight white underwear.

_*beepbeepbeepbeepBEEPBEEPBEEP*_

"I'm up, damn it!" Axel managed to pull himself out of bed and made his way over to the second alarm perched atop his dresser, glaring the entire way. The clock didn't take the hint and continued to screech, forcing the man to slam his hand on the large button and promptly hurl the demonic thing to the ground. "And stay down."

Axel drug his way out into the hall and towards the bathroom. Once in, he closed the door and turned the shower to barely past cold. after stepping in, he took a moment to enjoy the brisk feeling of the water cascading down his body before rushing through his normal routine. Afterwards he hopped out, quickly brushed his teeth, and before leaving to get dressed he stopped to admire himself in the mirror. His hard work was still paying off, and he had to admit there was a pretty good-looking man staring smugly back at him. Too bad it was going to go to waste this year. Axel sighed as he thought about his declaration to refrain from men, ever since he left the last one. He shook his head and instead thought about the new hockey team he would be playing on at his new school, and left for his room smiling.

____

Axel stuffed the last bite of waffles in his mouth and went to work on cleaning the plate of the remaining sweet syrup. As he happily swirled his finger around in the sticky pools he heard the doorbell ring once before the front door opened. After a moment Tidus walked into the kitchen, twirling his keys around his finger. "Hey, ready to go?"

Axel nodded and stood up to put his plate in the sink, sucking on his syrup-covered finger. His mom stood up and hugged him, much to his chagrin. "Good luck sweetie! Remember to stay strong; you don't need to be wasting your time on some boy. You're too good for them all anyway." Aerith pulled away and smiled at her son, who nodded in agreement, and she secretly glared at her husband who was pointedly ignoring the whole conversation.

"Yeah I know mom; not this year. This year, I'm asexual baby!" Aerith shook her head and smiled over at Tidus. "Have fun you two. Now hurry up and get out of here; you too Namine." Namine frowned at her only half-eaten waffle before grudgingly getting up and grabbing her backpack.

"Maybe if you didn't take two hours getting ready you could finish a meal once in a while." Tidus teased. Namine just huffed and followed her brother out of the kitchen.

______

Axel laughed as Marluxia, the student who was currently giving him tips on how to deal with the teachers here, called one of them a, "flaming tulip." As far as Axel could tell Marluxia was obviously gay and meant no harm by it, and the pink-haired man confirmed his thoughts by going on to explain that this teacher was conveniently the best looking of them all. As Axel shook his head and thanked Marluxia for the tips, he turned away and his eyes caught something bright gold at one of the lockers. Looking closer, he noticed it was the spiky hair of a short, slim boy, dressed in many long layers of black that completely covered his body. The boy was slowly putting a book in his locker, and just as slowly pulling a new one out, seeming drawn into himself and not paying attention even to this simple task. Axel let out the breath he realized he had been holding, and began walking towards the small boy.

_Wow he looks amazing…wait I haven't even seen what he looks like yet. Damn. So much for giving up on men; I know this one'll be mine._

As Axel reached his goal he wiped all traces of these thoughts from his face and spoke:

"Hey there, do you know which class the AP calculus is in?"

The boy didn't look away from his locker. In fact, he didn't seem to notice Axel at all, except for the visible stiffening of his body as he continued his task. "Um hey. This is my first class of my first day; I'd really rather not be late and make a bad impression." The boy still ignored him. Axel frowned and tried again.

"Hello? Can you just tell me where this class is?" The boy suddenly slammed his locker shut and whirled to face the redhead.

"Look, I don't know where your damn class is. Do I LOOK like a senior? No. So I have an idea; why don't you leave me the hell alone."

Axel, however, barely heard him at all. He was too busy staring into the angry boy's eyes. If he was thinking clearly right now, he would have berated himself for gasping when the boy had turned and he got his first real look at him. Those eyes glaring up at him were the most shocking blue he had ever seen. Despite their beauty, they seemed to hold a pain which ran deeper than they could fully display…but there also seemed to be a faint light, one so far back that it went all but unnoticed. When he was finally able to form coherent thoughts again, Axel noticed the eyes becoming more angry as the moments passed and he realized the boy was snapping his fingers at him.

"Hello! What the hell are you staring at? First you bother me to speak and then you just shut up and gawk at me? I said go away!"

Axel managed to swallow hard and take in the rest of the boy's face. Those eyes of his were large, and would look innocent if not for the contents they held. His face was round and youthful, with an adorable little upturned nose, pouty pink lips, and hair spiking out every which way and framing his face in the most beautiful way. The one thing contrasting this cute, young image was a large scar starting from the right corner of the boy's mouth and ending more than halfway across his face towards his ear. Axel noticed that this side of his mouth hardly moved as the boy yelled at him; whatever had happened apparently left him with little control over that half. He noticed this all indirectly however, as he still had not taken his eyes off the boy's, although he was starting to feel himself mostly released from their hold and able to speak again.

"Sorry, I was hoping you would happen to know where the class was. My name is Axel, by the way." He looked at the boy expectantly, smiling radiantly at him and leaning casually against the adjacent locker. The boy rolled his eyes and stormed past him, although he seemed careful not to touch him at all. Axel turned to watch the boy leave and let out a long breath.

_Well he was certainly rude. Probably fighting feelings for me. Yeah, that's definitely it. I know we are supposed to be together, I can feel it. I'll make this work whether he wants it to at first or not. _Axel almost felt weird falling for the boy so hard already and feeling as if they were supposed to belong to each other, but that doubt was quickly quelled. He was just too sure of this. He couldn't explain it, but he had absolutely no doubt in his mind that this would work out in his favor.

_____

_Roxas' POV_

_Same scene_

Roxas worked his way through the crowded halls of his school, head down and book clutched protectively in his arms. Most people ignored the small figure, but some went out of their way to bump harshly into him or call him stupid names and then laugh ridiculously loudly. If it wasn't for the fact that being here meant being away from _him, _Roxas would really hate this place. As it was, it protected him for a few hours a day, and in return the students got to harass him or beat him up or destroy his stuff. A pretty fair trade, Roxas thought.

As he turned into the hallway with his locker, a bright, tinkling laugh skipped its way from the opposite end of the hall to Roxas' ears. He looked up for the first time, and stopped moving altogether as his eyes were met with quite a vision; a rather tall man was laughing at something some pink-haired guy was saying. The man wore just jeans and an olive green t-shirt, which left his nicely toned and muscular arms free to be enjoyed by the world. And his hair; Roxas couldn't believe it. It was just a wild mane of shocking red hair, which moved delightfully with the man, enhancing every movement that it's owner made. Roxas came to and realized that he was standing in the middle of the hallway, mouth hanging open stupidly. He slammed it shut and growled, hurriedly moving over to his locker. He started slowly putting away his book and taking out a new one, lost in thought about this new red-haired man.

_Don't bother. Why am I doing this to myself? Even if I did try, he would never ever ever want to be with you, you would just disgust and repulse him. Or he would try for a while, only to leave you like everyone else. I really don't need to deal with this; just ignore him and he'll ignore you; let's move on with life._

"Hey there, do you know which class the AP calculus is in?"

Roxas tensed at these words. Even though he didn't look up, he knew who they belonged to; the voice had the same soothing, musical sound as the laugh that had just entranced him. He purposefully made a show of grabbing a few more necessities out of his locker, ignoring the redhead beside him.

"Um hey. This is my first class of my first day; I'd really rather not be late and make a bad impression."

Roxas kept deliberately focused on his task, fighting the urge to turn and get a closer look at the person having such a burning effect on him.

"Hello? Can you just tell me where this class is?"

Roxas emitted a low growl and, slamming his locker shut, abruptly turned to face the man, annoyed when his sudden act didn't seem to faze him save for a small gasp. "Look, I don't know where your damn class is. Do I LOOK like a senior? No. So I have an idea; why don't you leave me the hell alone." Roxas went to turn away before the man could awaken any more long-forgotten feelings he had withdrawn himself from, but stopped when he noticed the redhead staring at him rather…oddly. He couldn't quite identify what this look meant, but it was making it much harder for him to walk away.

"Hey, what's your problem? I said I don't know where your damn class is!" Roxas glared at him further. "What are you looking at?" When the man still didn't' respond, Roxas snapped his fingers in his face in an attempt to distract him.

"Hello! What the hell are you staring at? First you bother me to speak and then you just shut up and gawk at me? I said go away!"

Still, the man wasn't looking away, although the intensity of his stare had lessened. After another moment though, he seemed to regain his composure and finally spoke.

"Sorry, I was hoping you would happen to know where the class was. My name is Axel, by the way." He leaned against a locker and smiled, and Roxas felt a familiar pressure behind his eyes at the same time as his chest tightened up. Before he broke down in front of this strange person who had ruined his day, he silently stormed past him and to the nearest bathroom. Once he was sure he was alone, he rolled up a sleeve of his jacket and pulled out one of his pocket knives. He cut slowly into his arm, watching the skin as it seemed to run away from the tip of the knife. As he absentmindedly watched the little stream of blood run down between his other scars, Roxas' thoughts went back to Axel, as he was apparently called.

_Why, why, why, why, why? Why did he affect me like that? I shouldn't be letting this happen; what's wrong with me? I know he couldn't possibly want anything more than sex; so why do I feel so drawn to him?_

Roxas suddenly slashed across him arm, interrupting the slow trickling of the first stream.

'_Cause I am just a stupid slut, that's why. Because I'd just let him do whatever he wanted to me, just like I always do. Vexen's right; I must enjoy it. I am a whore. Wanting him like that..._

Tears were beginning to fill his eyes, waiting for just one more push before they began the familiar journey down his face. Roxas shuddered, still thinking about the way the redheaded man had been staring at him. It hadn't quite been with lust – Roxas knew that look well enough – but something else that seemed somewhat similar. He shuddered again and brushed his fingers against the scar on his cheek.

_He didn't even glance at this. Maybe…_

_******_

Roxas screamed again as Xemnas thrust into him, but mostly his eyes were trained on the knife in Vexen's hands. As Xemnas finished and rolled lazily off of him, Vexen stepped up. Roxas struggled against the chains that had been holding him captive these past few days, but they still hadn't decided to give way for him. He gulped and froze as Vexen lowered the knife to his chest, tracing invisible lines along his flesh.

"Do you have any idea how angry you've made me? Even if I was to believe that you, in fact, did NOT go running off to the cops, obviously you did something wrong and failed to properly keep this a secret from everyone." He brought the knife up to Roxas' face, grinning when he heard the boy whimper. "Have you forgotten already what happens when you make me angry?" Roxas shook his head slightly, careful not to cut himself on the knife that was now lying against his cheek. "I'm not so sure about that. Why don't we make sure that you will never, ever forget that you belong to me. That you will spend the rest of your life doing exactly as I say, and never disobeying me. Sound good? Yes, I think it does." Tears were falling freely now, and he could see Roxas' small body quivering quite impressively. Vexen smiled sadistically and placed the knife in Roxas' mouth. Getting one last look at the fear in the boy's eyes that he had instilled, Vexen focused on the job at hand. Slowly, he began sawing outward, delighting in the screams of the weak boy as his friends rushed to hold his flailing head in place. Roxas could feel his skin ripping and he was starting to choke on the blood leaking down his throat…

_******_

Roxas gasped as he clutched at his scar. He could remember well having to hold together his face before Vexen had decided to carelessly and unskillfully sew up the wound, leaving it to heal poorly and muttering all the while about Roxas deserving everything he brought upon himself. Roxas shook his head, trying unsuccessfully to rid himself of the feeling, and heard the class bell ring. Cursing, he quickly grabbed some paper towels to hold against his arm and rushed off to class.

___________

Axel turned from the line with his tray and scanned the room before him. He saw Tidus raise his hand and nodded in acknowledgement, slowly making his way over while continuing his search. He didn't see that mess of blonde hair anywhere. Sighing, he sat down and grinned sheepishly at his friend, who in turn glared suspiciously at him. "Axel, what are you giving me that look for?"

"Well," Axel grabbed a fry and bit off the first half. "You know how I'm going to spend the year focusing solely on hockey and school?" He popped the last half in his mouth and grabbed another.

"Yeah…"

"Yeah well, I decided that was stupid. Instead, I'm going to make this cute little blonde kid fall madly in love with me. It sounds much more intelligent."

"Axel!" Tidus hit his hand to his forehead. "No! No no no, I forbid it. Nobody needs this again. You just keep away from him. We'll do nothing but practice all year, and you won't be able to give a moment's thought to this guy." Axel shook his head in defiance.

"No you see, you don't understand. I'm SUPPOSED to be with him." Axel gave him a knowing look and a nod, to which Tidus rolled his eyes. "Oh really now? Why do I have this nagging feeling that you're insane? Oh wait, I think it's because of my intelligence."

Axel just shrugged and looked around the room again, wondering where his future love was hiding.

_____

Roxas walked as slowly as possible up to the front door. He put his hand on the knob and took a deep breath before opening it. He winced and fought the urge to run away as he heard more than one voice coming from the living room. Closing the door, he tried to make his way to the kitchen to start the large dinner without being noticed, but stopped when a voices rang out.

"Hey, he's home!"

"Thank god, I was getting lonely over here."

"Hey boy get in here and say hello!"

Roxas closed his eyes and swallowed hard, turning towards the voices. As he walked into the room one of them motioned him over, and guided him to kneel before him. The man, Xemnas, petted him on the head and told him to start off by getting him ready. Roxas nodded and undid Xemnas' zipper, pulling out the man's length and putting it in his mouth. He sucked and licked expertly, moving his head up and down and nibbling slightly, the way he knew Xemnas liked. Once he was hard, Xemnas pulled Roxas back by the hair and stood him up, telling him to take off his clothes. Once he had done so, Xemnas guided him so that he was sitting in his lap facing the rest of the room. "Move." Roxas positioned himself above the man's shaft and sat down hard, earning a loud gasp. He continued to move up and down until the man's moans became successively louder and he finally came inside him. One of the men next to them snickered and motioned Roxas over. Roxas pulled himself off of Xemnas and straddelded the next man, doing the same to this one. And after him the next one wanted his turn. Once he had satisfied all five of them in one way or another, Roxas got redressed and made his way to the kitchen. He placed a pan on the stove and went about gathering the food to make for Vexen and his friends. As he eventually went back to the pan to check if it was hot enough, a single tear managed to escape his cheek and fall to the pan, sizzling away instantly, effectively signaling that it was indeed ready. After watching it for a moment, Roxas began to place the various meats, and his thoughts fell back to the forbidden redhead.

_______

A/N: Well I may be busy for the next few days, so I had to end here. Tee hee, Axel wears whitey-tighties. Say what you will about them, I LIKE those underwear. So there. Oh and if Roxas seems to switch POV's in his thoughts, I know, I know. I do that all the time in my head, and I'm not even as messed up as he is. Or maybe we all do it in our head; I really don't know, seeing as how my head is the only one I'm in.

Next chapter will be Axel and Roxas interacting much more, and Roxas continuing to be mean to him. :) Poor Axel. It'll be worth it. Don't worry, they'll get along soon. Maybe even in the next chapter, who knows?

Hmm I seem to be typing and typing and not really saying much, so I'll go now. I thought I had something else to say....

Well thanks to the people who reviewed and added this story to their alerts! And also a thanks to the people who just read and moved on; I have 75 visitors in three days, I think that's good. :) Keep reading, and please take the 30 seconds to review, I just love seeing them! Bye!


	3. Secrets

Wow! Over two hundred hits and almost as many visitors in just the first two weeks! And of course more now that it's been about a month… Now don't I feel special?

Anyway, here's the next chapter.

___

Tidus rolled his eyes as Axel practically skipped his way over the blonde's locker. Axel had been obsessed with this kid for the past two weeks. Tidus' restraint was diminishing as he felt the urge to punch the boy more and more every time he was rude to his best friend. Which was every time they spoke. And yet, no matter what was said, Axel looked ecstatic after every encounter. He reassured Tidus that they were coming closer, that the boy wouldn't be able to hold in his feelings for him much longer. Tidus pulled out of his thoughts and returned his attention to the scene unfolding before him.

"Hey, how's your morning? I almost died on the way over; it was awesome." Axel paused to see if the blonde would show any concern at all, but going as he was met with none.

"Well anyway, it was exciting. So Spikey. Ready to tell me your name yet?"

Roxas glared up into Axel's brilliant eyes and once again suppressed the urge to wrap himself up in those toned arms and cry. "Why do you keep bothering me? How freaking clueless do you have to be to see that I'd rather a building collapse on top of you than hear your voice one more day? Stay. The HELL. Away from me." He whirled around and stormed off to his class.

Axel turned to smile broadly at his friend.

"Did you hear that? He told me to die! He's getting so rude and angry! He MUST be close to giving in!"

Tidus rolled his eyes. "You know, there's another explanation for his behavior. He's some little asshole punk, and you keep bothering him, thus increasing his level of anger, which in turn increases his level of rudeness and hatred towards you. Ever think of that?"

Axel shook his head. "Nuh-uh." His smile remained as he walked to class, Tidus trailing behind him and frowning at the back of his head.

___________

Tears were welling up in Roxas' eyes as soon as he had turned away.

_Why do I feel so attracted to him? I know he must be dangerous….then why does he feel so safe? Why do I feel as though he could protect me? _Roxas suddenly barked a dry laugh, causing the remaining people in the halls to glare at him. _Yeah right. If for some reason he did try to protect me, Vexen would just kill him and me. Even if Axel is sincere, you still can't pursue this. Don't disobey him…. _Roxas winced and brought a hand to his cheek. It wasn't too long ago that Vexen had marred his face; only about a year. And already his resolve was wavering.

_Pathetic. Stupid, really. Everything would be much easier if Axel hadn't shown up. _Roxas felt himself start to cry again as his chest tightened. Axel was making him start to feel again; he had been numb to most things for so long. He couldn't handle this new misery that had been so cruelly forced upon him. It was definitely time to do something about it. And this time he was going to succeed.

_____________

Sora turned away from his locker and almost ran into Riku. One of Riku's friends glared at him and said something, but Sora wasn't listening. Aqua eyes briefly met azure before Riku returned his gaze forward and continued walking away. Sora watched him for a moment before catching himself and glaring after the figure being swallowed up by fawning girls.

____________

He took the small containers that he had stolen out of his pocket and placed them carefully on either side of the sink faucet. Roxas looked at himself in the mirror and sneered.

_Stupid whore._ He quickly glanced away and focused his attention on the knife he had drawn. After a moment of contemplation, he opened the pill bottles in preparation.

Roxas had tried this a total of three times before, the first time when he was 11. He had obviously failed each time, and it usually took him a year or two to build up the courage again; Vexen was extremely angry when Roxas tried to deprive him of his slave, and the punishment for trying such had gotten progressively worse each time.

This time, however, would be different. Roxas was in the third floor bathroom, which was usually kept locked as it had been "Temporarily Out of Order" for the past year. Nobody would find him in time to keep him alive. Finally, he would be free of Vexen and himself.

Roxas took a deep breath, holding the knife to his wrist. _Why am I hesitating? What do I have to keep me here? _He looked up into the mirror again. _Absolutely nothing. You are disgusting. Really, you deserve to just live on and keep suffering, you filthy… _Roxas gasped as he suddenly realized what was causing his faltering. He wanted to see Axel again. No, he wanted to be WITH Axel. How could that ever happen if he killed himself? Roxas shook his head to clear it of that damn man.

_As if that would ever happen anyway. Come on, let's just do this. _Roxas positioned the knife once again and began to press the tip into his scarred skin. Just then, the door opened. Roxas' head snapped up and he began yelling.

"Hey get the fu…uhh…" His words slowly died as he noticed who exactly was standing in the doorway.

_____________

Sora gasped when a hand grabbed him roughly and quickly pulled him into an empty classroom. Before he could react lips were crushing his own. He kissed back desperately, hands clawing the strong, thin back of his lover. Cool hands found their way under his shirt and began rubbing small circles around his nipples. Sora moaned and threw his head back. His vulnerable position was immediately taken advantage of, and Sora groaned louder as his neck was alternately bit and kissed, sucked and licked.

"Aaahh, Riku…."

___

"Riku?"

"Hmm?" The two of them were lying there together, still naked and struggling to catch their breath. "Riku, I don't want to do this anymore."

Riku propped himself up on his elbow and glared down and Sora. "What do you mean?" Riku asked dangerously. Sora's eyes widened and he pulled away from Riku.

"I mean I can't keep pretending we still hate eachother! I want a real relationship with you! I want to be able to go out to the movies, or go to the mall, or go to our houses, or…or see eachother anywhere besides this stupid classroom!" Sora glared at the room around him and kicked one of the chairs out of spite. Riku laughed lightly. "I like this classroom. Especially that spot over there under the chalkboard."

Sora glanced over to where Riku was looking. That was the first place they had ever been together. Sora loved that spot too. He gazed at Riku and returned his grin.

"Fine. I don't think this classroom is stupid. I'm sorry chair." Sora rubbed the chair apologetically with his foot. "I just think…I just really want to be with you. In more ways than this."

Riku's smile faded and he picked at a spot on the floor. It was his idea in the first place that they hide this from everyone. Neither of their families were prepared to deal with this. And Riku didn't exactly feel like giving up his easy high school life. He couldn't help but feel guilty, despite Sora being all for the charade. Or at least he was at first, anyway.

"I just don't want to deal with everyone. Our families, everyone here that we're forced to be with every day. They'll just make life more annoying."

Sora frowned up at him. "I think being with you will make it bearable. You're just not ready to admit that you're gay and give up all those 'amazing' popular friends you've acquired. You can't face them and tell them that you're with me. Why is it so wrong? They'll understand once they see how happy we are together."

Riku glared at Sora. "It's not as easy as you make it out to be. Life doesn't just work out because you want it to."

Sora threw his hands up and rolled his eyes. "Well it's not all dark and evil just because it's more convenient for you to keep fucking me and not dealing with anything else that comes along with being in a relationship!"

Riku bit back a retort that he knew would only push this argument over the edge. Instead, he tried to diffuse Sora's rare outburst of anger.

"Sora, you know that's not why I'm doing this. I love you. This just happens to be how our relationship works right now. There's no need to add unnecessary complications to it."

Sora stared at him wide-eyed before angrily grabbing his clothes and standing up. His hands were shaking as he tried to dress.

"Well! Obviously, if this is working for you, we shouldn't change a thing. We shouldn't have to face the world together if it's inconvenient. Tell me, when exactly will it be con-" Sora sighed and finished redressing. "Nevermind." He stormed out of the room without looking back. Riku sighed and collapsed back onto the floor where Sora had been laying, stroking it absentmindedly.

"That's not what I meant…."

____________

"Spikey?" Axel looked at him worriedly, and then stared down at the knife pressed to the boy's wrist. "No! What are you doing?"

Roxas recovered after a moment and raised the knife, holding it ready towards Axel.

"I locked that door! Why are you in here? Just get out and leave me THE HELL ALONE FOR ONCE!"

Axel shook his head as he shut the door and locked it. He started slowly moving towards the blonde, hands up where the boy could see them.

"No, it wasn't locked. I don't know why I came here, I didn't mean to. And no; if you know one thing about me, it's that I won't ever leave you alone." Those sad blue eyes began to tear up at these last words, and Axel took that as a sign that he was getting through.

"Look, you don't have to do this. I don't want you to do this. I know I've been bothering you since I got here, but really it's just because I want to get to know you. Please, just talk to me. I'll listen. You'll be okay." He was almost close enough to get the knife away from him now. But the boy was still holding it threateningly at him, although his face showed other intentions. Tears had been welling up so thickly in his eyes that Axel was beginning to be truly amazed they hadn't fallen yet. The poor thing had also begun twitching and shaking quite a lot.

Neither had looked away from eachother's eyes for one moment. Axel took a step closer, and Roxas realized that he had backed himself up against the wall. Axel was close enough to take the knife now…or to stab the knife into. Roxas wanted to get away so badly; nothing was going to stand in his way of being free. But he couldn't look away from those bright green eyes.

"I'll be here for you."

Roxas felt his breath catch in his throat and he closed his eyes, causing a considerable flood to cascade down his cheeks. He let the knife fall to the floor and clatter loudly as he raised his hands to cover his face. He let out a sob and started sinking to the floor, unable to quell the tears that were flowing so freely now.

Axel watched all of this in a kind of awful fascination. He had never seen the kid actively show anything but anger. And now, each sob coming from the shaking frame on the ground seemed to exude a kind of forlorn misery that Axel felt unable to fully comprehend. He slowly picked up the knife incase the boy decided to use it again, and then settled down beside him. Axel tentatively put an arm around the shuddering shoulders and felt the boy jump in response. Slowly, tearful blue eyes rose to meet his and the boy frowned.

"Why are you here?"

Axel smiled down at him. "Because I care about you. Granted, we don't know eachother too well yet. But still, I haven't been able to help but care for you."

_Why is he saying this? He has to be lying. But then why is he here with me? _Roxas shook his head and let out a defeated sigh.

"Well, that would soon change if you did get to know me."

Axel shook his head defiantly. "Of course it wouldn't. I really do want to get to know you. But first, why don't you tell me why you were in here about to kill yourself? Again, by the looks of it."

Roxas glanced miserably down at his scarred wrists and squeezed his eyes shut. "That's what I meant. You'll hate me. I hate me. Even my brother hates me. Everyone hates me now. You'll hate me too…." _I don't want that._

Axel put his free hand over his. "Sweetie, its okay, nothing you can say will make me hate you. I just want to know what it is that's making you hurt so badly." _Sweetie!? What has this boy done to me? _Axel put his odd behavior out of his mind and re-focused on the quivering boy beside him. _Man he really is a mess. What could have happened to him? Is someone doing this TO him? _

"Yes?" Axel asked encouragingly. The blonde had taken a breath and looked as if he was about to speak. After a few moments of opening and closing his mouth and eyes, he began to talk.

"I...I had just realized recently that I w-was…gay. My school found out somehow, and if that wasn't bad enough…" He gulped and forced himself to continue. "My uncle found out somehow too. I-I…after school one day, he was s-standing behind the couch…" Roxas took a deep breath and continued smoothly on.

***

Roxas was walking away from school dejectedly. Once again, he had some fresh new bruises on his face from the other boys at school. Somehow people had found out he was gay, and everyone seemed to think it could be beaten out of him, if only they tried hard enough. As he approached his driveway he was upset to see that his brother's truck wasn't there yet.

_Oh well. I should be able to stay out of trouble until he gets back. _

Roxas opened the door and dropped off his backpack in the foyer. He started to walk towards the kitchen, planning out what he was going to make his uncle for dinner, when he saw him standing behind the living room couch. His arms were folded, and he looked incredibly angry, but calm and collected. That was never a good sign.

"H-hello sir. Sh-shall I start your dinner for you?" Roxas began to walk towards the kitchen, knowing he would never make it.

"Stop."

Roxas halted and turned to face Vexen, already flinching even though he couldn't be reached from here.

"Come."

Roxas gulped and took a small step forward. His mind was screaming at him to run, or to stall until his brother got home, but he rarely could disobey Vexen. Especially when he looked so dangerous.

Roxas finally stood in front of his uncle, head downcast but eyes looking timidly upward, body shaking and wincing every few seconds.

"Y-yes sir?"

Vexen stared coolly down at him.

"Care to guess what this is about?"

Roxas shook his head feebly. "I-I don't know sir. I-I'm sorry…."

Vexen sighed and uncrossed his arms. He shook his head and "tsked" mockingly.

"Well, I've stumbled across some disturbing knowledge about you, boy. I hear that you LIKE the idea of shoving some fucker's dick up your ass. Is this true?"

Roxas stared at his feet in stunned terror. He had gone completely still; he wasn't breathing or even shaking anymore. This couldn't be happening. Vexen practically flew into a rage anytime a gay man was even spoken about. Who knew what he would do now that he had found out…

_Oh god is he going to kill me?_

Roxas started shaking again and began mumbling and stammering an unintelligible apology. Vexen's eyes narrowed and he grabbed a fistful of Roxas' hair, forcing his head up to stare at him.

"Disgusting faggot."

He backhanded Roxas hard across the cheek, but didn't drop his hold. Roxas whimpered and tried to keep his knees from giving out. Vexen smacked him again in the same spot. And again. And again. And again. Finally he paused in his assault to throw Roxas into a table. Although then he quickly resumed, this time beating him with the lamp that had fallen when Roxas knocked into it. Roxas started crying and curled into a ball with his arms around his head, in an attempt he knew would fail to protect him.

It never seemed like it was going to end, as usual. Roxas couldn't focus on anything but the pain, the feeling of a fist or a foot or who knew what thudding into him again and again. After what Roxas would assume was at least an hour, he felt himself start to lose consciousness. One last sudden pain in his head and he was gone.

____

Roxas slowly awoke to the usual throbbing in his entire body.

_That couldn't have been all…_

He opened his eyes and realized he wasn't in his room. As he looked around, he saw that he was actually in Vexen's bed. He started to call out to his brother when the door opened. Vexen glared dangerously at him before stepping in and closing the door. Roxas gulped and wrapped his arms around himself in a futile attempt to feel safer.

"So. You say that you're a fag? I think I've figured out a way to help you with that small inconvenience."

Vexen walked gracefully over to the bed and sat down beside Roxas' legs. Roxas started trembling again but remained silent.

Vexen suddenly reached down and removed Roxas' shirt, and then his own. He took off Roxas' pants, and started undoing his own belt. Roxas flinched and his breath hitched; he couldn't stand being beaten with that belt. He closed his eyes when Vexen had fully removed it, tensing for the expected blow, but then opened them again as he heard the thing fall to the floor. He looked up in confusion at Vexen, who just smirked at him in return.

"Let me show you just how bad it is to be a faggot. This is the only thing any guy will ever want from you. This is all you're worth." He started unbuttoning his own pants, and threw them to the floor as well. Roxas could feel himself start to panic, but he still wasn't exactly sure what Vexen could be planning.

When Vexen leaned over him, close to his face, and he felt his cold hands near his boxers, Roxas flailed and let out a scream.

"No! No, what are you doing? Vexen, no!" He kicked again, but Vexen just pinned his legs down with his own. Vexen kept a frightening silence, and easily slipped off both remaining items of clothing so that they were naked. Roxas began sobbing, pleading with Vexen. Vexen just smirked at him again and bent over to kiss his neck roughly while rubbing his hardening length along Roxas' stomach and hips. Roxas let out another scream and shoved him as hard as he could, but his attempt was laughable. However, Vexen wasn't laughing. He raised himself quickly, just hovering over Roxas, and grabbed his shoulders roughly, nails digging into his skin. He began to shake Roxas violently as he screamed at him.

"Don't you EVER try to resist me! EVER! I will fucking BREAK you! Do you hear me!? Don't EVER do that again!" Roxas was wailing loudly, his chest clenching in fear and his lungs trying frantically to fill themselves, but he was finding it hard to breathe. Vexen stopped shaking him, and, nails still digging into the frail shoulders underneath him, resumed his ministrations on Roxas' neck. Roxas felt as though his mind had snapped, and he felt himself shut down physically; he wasn't sure he could resist Vexen even if he was brave enough to try. He could only lay there shaking, trying to get enough oxygen to survive everything that was about to be done to him.

After only a few minutes, Vexen became greedy. He used his legs to spread Roxas', and quickly placed himself in front of Roxas' entrance. Roxas breath caught in his throat and his entire body clenched up. He squeezed his eyes together and waited, but he wasn't left waiting long. He felt a sudden pressure, and then horrible pain as his body ripped open and Vexen began thrusting into him, violent and relentless. Roxas began screaming louder than he ever remembered screaming before; already his throat was hurting and his head was becoming light from the strain. Vexen ignored him, continuing his thrusts, loud moans and grunts accompanying every one. Eventually Vexen grew tired of hearing Roxas' screams and leaned down to cover his mouth, body crushing the small one under him. Roxas couldn't stop however; he continued to scream around Vexen's hand, which was gripping him tighter and tighter. Roxas clenched his eyes shut and tried to focus on anything else besides Vexen's burning heat or the quickening thrusts that were tearing him apart, but he wasn't able to. Hopefully he would finish soon.

After a few minutes, Vexen's breath had gone ragged and his thrusts were no longer rythmatic, but jerky and more violent. With a few loud curses and a few more quick thrusts, Vexen released himself into Roxas' body. He collapsed on top of him for a moment to catch his breath, and then sat up, still straddling Roxas.

"There. That's all you have waiting for you. This will continue until you revert back to being normal. I'm sure you'll see that this is the wisest move. Or maybe you did enjoy this, and you'll continue to be gay and I'll continue to fuck you. Your choice."

With that, Vexen stood up, threw Roxas' clothes to him, and shoved him out the door. Roxas hobbled to his room and quickly dressed, throwing on a few more extra clothes to try and fool himself into feeling secure. He stood in the middle of his bare room for a moment, staring around but not really seeing anything. Then he ran to the bathroom and threw up. As he finished and rinsed out his mouth, he heard Vexen calling to him.

"Boy! Make me that dinner NOW!"

*****

Axel stared wide-eyed at the boy. He had stopped shaking as he told the story; instead, he had wrapped his arms around his legs and stared at the far wall, rocking back and forth ever so slightly. Not even his voice shook, and Axel was almost sure he never blinked. It was as if the boy had fallen into some sort of trance. But he had apparently snapped out of it, as he was back to sobbing and shaking, hiding his head in his knees and clutching them tightly to his chest. Axel wasn't sure what he could do to console the boy, so he just went with what he felt. He wrapped his arms around him and hugged him gently.

"I still don't hate you."

The blonde let out a small breath and pulled away to look up at the redhead. Axel smiled slightly.

"I still care about you."

His lip started trembling and Axel continued on.

"I'm so sorry he did that to you. You don't deserve that. Not at all. You are much too special to be treated like that. But don't worry; I'm here for you now. You're safe with me, I promise. I care about you."

The boy had stopped crying and was rocking slightly again, not taking his eyes off of Axel's and once again not blinking. Axel wasn't sure if this was a good sign or a bad one, and before he could figure it out, the blonde seemed to collapse from this new behavior and began sobbing louder than Axel had ever heard.

Roxas started hugging himself tightly, trying to wring some warmth out of his deathly chilled body, when Axel once again reached over and pulled him close. Roxas felt instantly like he was being pulled into a dream. Axel was so incredibly warm, and despite himself, Roxas did feel safe being held by him. He let himself be fully pulled into the comforting embrace, and calmed down to a quiet sobbing.

There they sat for quite some time. Slowly the sobbing stopped, and Axel felt the boy's left arm twitch slightly as a silence draped across the rom. He smiled, guessing it meant he had fallen asleep. Axel settled into a more comfortable position and sat patiently, stroking the boy's back and thinking about everything he had just been told. He wanted so badly to just get up and kill the prick that caused all of this, but right now comforting the man's victim was much more important.

_____

Roxas awoke to the sound of the end-of-school bell piercing through the walls. He started to move, confused, but then stopped when he realized he wasn't cold. In fact, he was quite warm. And even comfortable. He opened his eyes and noticed legs that weren't his on the floor in front of him. Then he remembered why he was here, and sat up quickly. He looked behind him to see Axel smiling warmly at him.

"Hello. Feel any better?"

Roxas stared at him warily for a moment and removed himself fully from the man. He looked back up to his beautiful green eyes, but didn't see any malice or lust in them. Just warmth and security. Roxas gulped and looked down at the ground. Axel laughed lightly, making Roxas' chest swell as the sound seemed to fill him with life. He looked up to Axel again, and a smile tried to tug the working corner of his mouth. Axel wrapped his arms around him again and hugged him gently before standing and offering a hand down. Roxas accepted it and stood. Then he realized that Axel had stayed here with him through the rest of school; that was about four or five periods!

"Axel! I'm so sorry…you shouldn't have missed your classes for just me, I'm not worth that. Oh, I'm so sorry-" Axel cut him off with a wave of his hand and looked into his eyes.

_Damn he sure doesn't think much of himself. _"Hey. Don't say that. I would much rather be here with you than in any of my classes. You are much more important than anything those teachers had to say today. Okay?" The boy nodded despite looking unconvinced, but Axel decided not to push it. He didn't think he could fix years of conditioning here today in the bathroom. That would take time, time that Axel was excited to give.

"Hey. Whaddya say we go get some ice cream?"

The boy hesitated, but then slowly nodded, and Axel took hold of his hand to lead him out of the bathroom. As he opened the door, he heard the boy's small voice say his name.

"Axel?"

Axel turned and smiled down at him. "Yes?"

"My name's Roxas."

* * *

Alright. There we go. I think this turned out well, but it's so hard for me to judge my own work. I get much too close to it, and can't see it from a reader's eyes. Oh well, I guess that'll have to be your job. :)

I don't know where the Sora/Riku story is going; I just sat down and started typing, and that's what came out. Apparently they're fighting now – who knew? I'm sure it's only temporary.

Well I don't think I have much else to say. If YOU have something to say, well then say it. Otherwise, smile and move on I suppose. Until next time!


	4. Sharing

Disclaimer: Still don't own anything. Although I now claim ownership to this silly gnat in front of my computer screen. I shall name him Roxel.

Thank you so much everyone who reviewed, added to favorite/alerts, or just plain read! I have so many "visitors" it makes me feel all warm inside. I've responded to all of your reviews, but there is one person who was "too lazy to sign in," so here is your response!

**DigiDestined of Balance**: Hey thanks for reviewing! I'm glad you liked the ending; most people seemed to. Part of this chapter is thanks to you, as I'm encouraged to sit MY lazy butt down and write each time I'm reminded that people are waiting on me. :)

Alright what else? I had some mistakes in the last chapter, so those will be fixed hopefully sometime soon. :D

Again, I have the basic story already set, but if you want to see anything specific just let me know and I'll see if I can incorporate it!

Enjoy!

* * *

Axel couldn't help but smile as he stood in line, watching Roxas stare around with cautious amazement. He was standing feet together, head lowered slightly, with his hands in front of him and his arms pulled tightly to his body, seeming to try and take up as little space as possible. His eyes, however, ran around the entire shop, invading every space, gazing at the many exciting flavours of ice cream, the colourful posters on the walls, and even the simple white ceiling with the small track lights running back and forth. Axel laughed softly as Roxas let out a small gasp when the person in front of them was handed a triple-scoop ice cream cone with chocolate and butterscotch running down the sides and rainbow sprinkles being drug down in the small viscous rivers.

"Come on Roxas; we're next." Axel placed his hand gently on Roxas' arm and led him towards the counter.

"Hello; what can I get for you today?" The cashier asked.

"Hey. I'll have a root beer float and a sea salt bar. Roxas?" Axel looked down to the blonde expectantly. Roxas, who had been looking at the "Pop Rocks Ice Cream" and wondering what in the world a pop rock was, tore his eyes away and looked up at Axel, who seemed to be waiting for something. "….yes?"

"What do you want?"

Roxas blinked once with a blank look on his face. "What do you mean?"

Axel raised an eyebrow at him. "Well, we're in line. Here to have ice cream. Which ice cream would you like?" Roxas looked around like he expected to find an explanation written in code somewhere, but apparently found nothing. "Um...I'm sorry. I don't have money."

Axel sighed and turned to the cashier. "Sorry, you can take the next person. We need a moment here." Axel grabbed Roxas' arm and pulled him aside, feeling guilty when Roxas flinched at the gesture. He rubbed his thumb over the small arm before letting go in what he hoped would be interpreted as comforting instead of lewd.

"Roxas, you don't need to have money. I'll pay for it." Axel looked at him expectantly once more, sure it wasn't going to be so simple as that. His assumption was confirmed when Roxas' eyes widened at the thought and he recoiled slightly.

"What? You're going to pay…for me?" Axel smiled and nodded, waiting patiently. "B-but…I don't get anything outside of the house."

Axel's eyes narrowed and he shook his head slightly. "Roxas, you can have ice cream because you're out with me. Usually you are not allowed because I'm sure you're with that scumbag. You can do most anything you want when you're with Axel!"

Roxas attempted a smile up at Axel and gazed at the menu, hugging his arms around his body. "Um…I'm not sure what I'm supposed to get." Axel resisted the urge to smack his head into his hand and instead motioned Roxas towards the counter again. "You're not 'supposed' to get anything; you can get whatever you want." Roxas lowered his eyes to the ground and seemed to try and fit himself into an even smaller space.

_I suppose he's not really used to making his own decisions._ Axel clenched his jaw and his hands curled into fists before he realized that this wasn't about that sick pervert; this was about Roxas. He needed to make Roxas feel at ease and not force him too quickly out of his comfort zone.

"Why don't you start with a sea salt ice cream bar?" He suggested gently, trying to ease the stress of a decision while still putting Roxas in control of himself. "Those are really good, and not so extravagant as to overwhelm a first timer. Would you like one Roxas?" Roxas attempted a smile again and nodded shyly, still looking at the floor, and followed Axel back to the counter.

"Hello again. What can I get for you?"

"We'll have a root beer float and TWO sea salt ice cream bars."

_______________

Axel smiled as he watched the cute little blonde in front of him delightedly eating his ice cream bar. Roxas had been tentative at first, poking out the tip of his cute little red tongue to test the new food he was holding. Axel had almost laughed when Roxas' normally sad eyes lit up as he shoved the top of the bar in his mouth and began hungrily, yet delicately devouring it. Currently, Roxas had less the half the bar left, and had finally taken it out of his mouth and begun licking it from bottom to top. Axel briefly wondered why he was paying more attention to how happy Roxas was with his ice cream than to how hot he would look doing the same thing to something else, but then stopped as this small observation unleashed those wonderfully dirty thoughts he had been missing. Feeling more like himself again, and seeing that Roxas was finally coming out of his ice cream trance, Axel set out to finally start a real conversation.

"So Spikey….enjoying that are we?" Roxas nodded without looking away from his ice cream. Axel smiled and shook his head. He waited a few more moments for Roxas to suck the remainder from his stick – god that hurt – before starting again.

"So. How long have you lived here for, Roxas?"

Roxas shrugged. "A while."

"How come you live with your uncle?"

Roxas fiddled with his popsicle stick before answering. "They're…they're gone."

Axel assumed they were talking about Roxas' parents now. Wondering just how much of an idiot he must be to bring up anything about that broken family, Axel tried not to sound too interested in this story.

"I'm sorry…for whatever happened…."

Roxas continued to stare down at his popsicle stick in silence.

"So…. I love hockey. What do you do in your spare time?"

Still silence. And worry. Axel frowned. As open as he was in the bathroom, Roxas seemed to be slipping away from him again.

"Roxas."

The boy looked up without raising his head.

_Wow. He's got the most amazing eyes. Still. _

"You don't have to be uncomfortable around me, okay?"

Roxas swallowed hard and started fiddling with his stick again.

"It's alright. Feel free to talk to me. I want to be here for you."

Roxas was silent for a few moments, and then he very carefully set his popsicle stick down in front of him.

"You don't think I'm disgusting?"

He locked his eyes with the brilliant ones across from him. Axel huffed. "Of course not! I couldn't possibly think that!"

"Even though I was sucking him off just a few hours before you saw me?"

He didn't break his intense stare, and Axel gulped; he hadn't expected the quiet little blonde to be so direct. And now he felt bad about those dirty thoughts he had been having about Roxas, seeing as how the poor thing was just forced into doing exactly that this morning.

"No Roxas, I still don't see any reason to think poorly of you."

Roxas shook his head, not believing him for a second, and finally lowered his eyes back to the popsicle stick on the table.

"Hey. Why don't you believe me? Why would I think badly of you because some prick forces you into something?"

Roxas scoffed. "Forces me? I resisted that one time, and that was it. I do whatever he wants now, of my own will."

"Oh. Oh I see." Axel started exaggeratedly. "So knowing that if you resist, he'll just do it anyway while undoubtedly hurting you more, knowing that if you resist he could potentially kill you, and thus going along with things to keep from hurting yourself, this makes it by your 'own will'?"

Roxas closed his eyes.

"My brother wouldn't allow this to happen to him."

"If your brother had any sort of survival instinct he would."

Roxas opened his eyes and stared at his popsicle stick on the table in yet more silence. Then he raised his head to look Axel in the eyes.

"Fine. It's against my will. But I'm still letting it happen. It's still my fault." He lowered his head back down, not wanting to see his thoughts about himself echoed in those eyes.

Axel let out a defeated sigh before speaking. "Hey…let me tell you something."

Roxas caught the tone of Axel's voice and gazed up at him, expecting to see those brilliant green eyes watching him, like they had been for weeks. However, they were busy watching the root beer float spin gently around in its glass as Axel stirred it absentmindedly and spoke.

"Almost two years ago, I had my first real boyfriend. Things weren't really going too well in life; my dad still wasn't very accepting of the fact that I was gay, lots of guys on the team were still freaked out, all that fun stuff. I had never fully been okay, myself, with my sexuality, but I knew it wasn't something that could be helped. Luckily – I thought at the time – I had finally found this guy who made it seem okay. He was so cool and confident all the time, didn't care what anybody else ever thought of him…really the type you yearned to have pay attention to you. So I felt really special when he chose me to be his boyfriend. I felt like I didn't need to consider any of the other people around me when I was with him, and when he wasn't there, I felt useless.

"He was always pushing for me to let him have sex with me, but I didn't really feel I was ready. However, after about a year, I kind of got the feeling he was getting tired of fighting me on this and I was really worried he was going to end things between us. It kinda felt like I was risking my entire identity; if I didn't have him, I would be a nobody. And, unfortunately, I finally made the decision to give in, in hopes that he would stick around.

"We had both been lying on his bed; he was reading a comic, and I was sitting there steeling myself for what I was about to do. I'm sure I had been acting nervous all day, but of course he didn't bother to ask what was wrong- he never did. Anyway, I basically said, 'We can have sex now if you want.' He didn't wonder what had changed my mind, didn't ask if I was sure, didn't even hesitate. He just said, 'Okay,' put down his comic, and rolled on top of me."

Axel paused to swallow thickly and take a deep breath. Then he closed his eyes for just a moment and continued.

"It lasted all of about four minutes, and consisted solely of him humping me a few times and rolling back off of me. It hurt like hell, because he didn't bother to ease me into it, or even do anything at all for my benefit. Afterwards, I tried to cuddle up to him, but he just went back to reading his comic. And then he actually said, 'Weren't you supposed to be back home by now?'

"I was, as you can imagine, incredibly upset that my last resort didn't work. So I tried one last time to reassure myself. As I got up, I kissed him and told him I loved him. He looked up from his comic, met my gaze, and said, 'I love you too Axel.' Then he smiled - smirked really, I suppose – and went back to his book."

Axel paused again and continued to stare at his drink. Roxas reoriented himself and realized he had moved forward and was holding onto the edge of his booth. He was about to ask Axel what happened next when the redhead began to speak again.

"So after that I left. I was on my way home when I realized I had left my wallet in his room. So I turned around and headed back…." Axel finally looked up into Roxas' waiting eyes.

"Let me just take a moment here to point something out. By the time I got back to his house, it had been no more than fifteen minutes after I had left. Got it memorized?" Roxas nodded and waited anxiously.

"Okay. So. I get back up to his room, open the door, grab my wallet off the dresser right by me, and when I turn to make fun of my forgetfulness to him, I see him… I see him screwing some guy into the mattress. He...he noticed me watching him, and just….just smirked at me. Then he turned his head back around to face…that guy….again and started loudly moaning his name."

Axel looked as though he wasn't finished, but he shut his mouth and went back to stirring his drink once again. Roxas let the moments pass silently, waiting for Axel to finish reliving this memory. Finally he seemed to mentally shake himself loose as he looked back up at Roxas.

"So yeah. Obviously that didn't work; I should've known it was a stupid plan. Do you blame me for this?"

Roxas was taken aback.

"No Axel! He was a horrible, horrible man! He used you just because you were vulnerable at the time! That was really terrible and manipulative of him. I'm so sorry he did that to you."

Axel smiled weakly. "Well then. If you don't blame me for willingly handing myself over to him, then why the hell would I blame you for being taken against your will?"

Roxas visibly stumbled as he realized what Axel had just tricked him into. He managed a meek, "Oh" before giving his attention back to his popsicle stick. Axel just nodded smugly.

"Exactly."

_____

Riku sat at the breakfast table, poking his scrambled eggs and listening to his parents' conversation. His father had been relating the story of how he fired some girl from his office yesterday for something minor.

"Trying to blame it on the fact she's pregnant…what, being pregnant takes up an hour of your morning? Shouldn't she schedule around this and get up earlier?"

_Could he be more of a jerk?_

His father's voice was getting louder and he was forcefully spitting his words out in anger. Riku amused himself slightly by imagining them as solid, 3D words flying across the table that he would have had to avoid, lest he be stabbed in the face with a particularly nasty one. He made it a few sentences, but then things started to get really difficult as his father became more and more angry.

_Man they're really coming fast now. Alright alright doing well….I would have to dodge left…ooh and then I'd go down…damn it. Stupid "is", hitting me in the ear like that…. Wow he's really getting worked up about this chick. I predict this will somehow be the fault of some homo in 3…2…1…._

"….As if he COULD even get her pregnant; he's too busy chasing after other faggots to knock her up!"

_Well, not exactly his fault, but I do believe I still get credit for that one._

Riku sighed as his father went into his typical anti-gay ranting.

_Yes Sora, you're right, I SHOULDN'T get to be with you until this is all directed squarely at me. _Riku stabbed his eggs and glared at his father, who was spitting all over his food in his fury.

_Great. Every single one of those words is going to hit me._

_____

The two boys had left the ice cream shop and were nearing Roxas' house. Axel looked around warily as the passed dirty alleys, bullet hole-ridden signs and even houses, and a group of shifty looking men who Axel would swear were gathered around a dead body. Suddenly Roxas stopped walking. Axel looked up to see a sad little house with a lopsided roof and peeling siding.

"Is this one yours?"

Roxas looked up the redhead. "No, mine's farther up there. My uncle isn't home yet, but I'll get in trouble if my brother sees me with you and tells him." Roxas looked down and shuffled his feet sadly. When he began to wrap his arms around himself again, Axel reached out and put his hand gently on Roxas' shoulder.

"Hey, I want to thank you for finally allowing me to talk to you. I really enjoyed spending time with you. When can you do this again?"

Roxas looked up at him incredulously. He couldn't help shake the feeling all day that Axel would suddenly realize what he was dealing with and leave in disgust… or use him for the same purpose as everyone else. Most likely the latter. Maybe he was the type to get a sick pleasure from first building trust and then tearing it down. That seemed likely. It would definitely be safer to say….

_Wait, did I just tell him tomorrow!?_

____

Axel smiled as Roxas agreed to see him again tomorrow. For a moment there, he had thought he was going to be turned down. In fact it looked as though Roxas was about to change his mind right now.

_Damn. I better show him this is the right decision. _

"Alright sweet; I'll see you tomorrow." Axel took the boy's hand and squeezed it gently. "And hey, don't worry. You have someone here with you now. You can talk to me anytime. My number is 555-9264; I implore you, call me anytime you need to talk OR see me. 'kay?" Roxas nodded in stunned silence, not really sure when so much had changed. Just a few hours ago he was ready to die alone, and now here he was, with this person at the very least attempting to make him feel as if he didn't need to be alone anymore.

Axel smiled reassuringly down at the blonde, convinced he had finally caught him for good. "Okay, I'll see you tomorrow. I'll drive to the round-a-bout down the street and pick you up for school, if you'd like." Axel smiled gently and waited for an answer. Roxas stared up at him with those big blue eyes for a moment, and then nodded slowly.

_Okay seriously, have I seen him blink yet?_

Axel squeezed his hand again before letting it go. Roxas pulled his arm slowly back to himself, stood for a moment, and turned stiffly to walk away. He didn't bother to look back; he was scared he wouldn't see Axel standing there anymore. The redhead was, however, still there, watching him walk away like he was walking into the gates of hell. Axel's face hardened as he played through his mind everything Roxas had told him about the man who lived there….it took a nice portion of his will power not to run up and grab Roxas and take him away for forever. After disposing of his abuser, of course. That part would be fun.

Axel sighed and shook his head to clear it before turning and heading back to his own house. He had something to rub in Tidus' cynical face.

________

"I'm gay."

Riku and Sora waited for a reaction; Riku looking bored, Sora anxious. They didn't have long to wait before Sora was wrapped up in a big hug by his mother.

"Oh honey, don't give me that look. We love you more than anything!" She turned to glare playfully at her son's father.

"Didn't I tell you? And you thought I was insane. And look, they're even dating…" She turned back to face her son again. "…right?" Sora nodded, a huge grin overtaking his face.

"Yup! Have been for seven months now!"

Sora's mother squealed and hugged him again. Then they both looked at his father for his opinion on the matter.

"Hey don't give ME those looks. I don't care. This means no 'I'm about to be a teenage father' talks!" The three of them laughed and hugged some more.

Riku had been watching all this with disbelief, his jaw slowly slackening, until it finally fell open at the sight of them all hugging.

_Seriously!? No. They can't be serious. They'd probably be beating him or something if I weren't here._

Riku's thoughts were interrupted as the smiling and laughing mass that had been slowly inching towards it's oblivious victim sucked him into its midst.

"Congratulations boys! We're so happy for you!"

_Oh god. They are serious._

_____

Riku had been forced to stay there with the smirking and giggling family all through dinner and a movie. Sora's mother had smiled as she gave them a blanket to "cuddle" under, and his dad had gotten a kick out of telling them to keep their hands above the blankets, and calling it to attention whenever one hand innocently disappeared for a moment. Luckily, the credits were rolling and those strange parents were standing up.

_Ugh thank god. It's finally over. Get me the hell out of here._

"Okay honey, let's go. I'm sure these two boys would like to be alone now." She winked at Sora and practically skipped out of the room with her husband. Riku groaned and threw the blanket over his head. When he didn't bother to say anything, Sora poked him where he figured his stomach was.

"See? That went well. This isn't going to be so bad."

Riku uncovered one eye to glare at his boyfriend.

"Sora."

Sora blinked.

"Yes?"

"Your parents….."

"What?"

Riku thought for a moment.

_Do I tell him they're delusional? That they are exactly opposite from what he's going to experience with my dad? That his family's annoying and weird? _Riku sighed. _So this is how he got so innocent and naïve. I'll bet his parents didn't even have sex to conceive him. They probably just "sent out enough concentrated love into the world that it rewarded them with a perfect little rosy-cheeked baby," or some bullshit. Good god. Sickening._

"Riku?"

"Hmm?"

"What were you saying about my parents?"

"Uh. That they are….different. Different than mine. Don't expect a reaction of the same caliber. In fact, I'm not even sure you should be there when I tell them."

Sora poked him harder.

"Oh no you don't! I'm going to be there to make sure you do it! You won't and say you did otherwise."

Riku sighed.

"Sora, really. I'm not kidding. I'm really worried he'll hurt you."

Sora shook his head vehemently. "Nuh-uh, don't even try. I'm coming with you."

"Sora…."

"No, Riku! I'm coming with you and that's final!" Soar slammed his small fist down on the blanket where apparently Riku's arm was.

"Ow."

Sora put his hand to his face. "Oh gosh Riku, I'm sorry! Are you okay?"

Riku cocked an eyebrow at Sora. "Are you serious? You really think you could hurt me?"

Sora glared at Riku and moved his face towards his. "Hmm…probably only if you let me."

"Sounds intriguing."

Sora let a slow smile creep across his face.

"I'd probably start about…here." He nipped at Riku's neck, then kissed it wetly before biting down harder. Riku shivered and moved to put his hands on Sora's back, when his ears were assaulted by an inhuman squealing.

"Aw you two! You may be in love-" *squeal* "-but I need help cleaning up the kitchen!"

Sora jumped up and went to help his mom.

"That's okay. I was about to come check anyway." He followed his mom into the kitchen, turning his head to smile at Riku, who was glaring at their backs.

_Oh. My. God. Leaving. Right now. _

* * *

__________

______

___

-

Alright reader people. Sorry this took so long; I've had so much going on, including the planning of my best friend's and my good friend's wedding! Dum dum dumdum…..

I was going to include Riku's parents in here being told he was gay, but I figured I should give you what I have and do that when I get time. As it is, I barely have time to upload this. But anyway, yay! :D

Let me know what you think!


End file.
